One thing I have truly come to appreciate about the New Year’s holiday as I have put a few years behind me is the concept of new beginnings.  We can all relate, I am sure, to having the worst day ever and wondering how we can even imagine about waking up and going through it all again. A bad job, a dysfunctional relationship, financial crisis. Yet when the new day dawns, in most cases, we have a fresher perspective and things that were simply impossible just a few hours before now seem slightly less daunting. Hope, it seems, rises with the sun.

That’s why I think life needs a reset button sometimes. I really appreciate the default of New Year’s Eve to help me gain perspective on all that has transpired in the year before and all I truly hope to accomplish and do better given another chance in the year ahead.  My wife thinks I am nuts but I love to make my lists of projects and goals and optimistically prepare for the days ahead.

Sometimes, though, there are those moments that can’t be made whole again with a good night’s rest or a well thought out “to-do” list. In fact, there are events that can’t be made better with one New Year’s Eve ball drop or even a thousand of them. In my career its part of my job to find and diagnose skin cancers, tell people that they have a long or short road ahead of them. I am used to that now, and trust me it never gets easier.  One distinct memory I recall is sitting in the parking lot after work and just wanting to evaporate into thin air. I had just made a call to a patient, perhaps the most difficult of my career. A skin cancer was found and it had metastasized throughout the patient’s body. Hearing someone’s entire world shatter with news like that is absolutely impossible to explain in words. Terrible, awful, life altering. I sat in that parking lot in the twilight and I truly did not have any idea how I was going to turn the key in the ignition to start my journey home. I wanted close my eyes and wake up, as if it was just a horrific nightmare. It was a long day, a terrible night. The sun rose again and I found the courage to get back in my car and prepare to do it again where just a few hours before I could honestly say I had had enough and it was time for a new career. It is to one of these moments I refer to that occurred this past year I would like to share with you, because you need to hear a story about how one life was lost so that others may live.

My wife and I had been looking for a used piano for some time when she excitedly related that she had been offered one from a local music store.  A deal of a lifetime we thought, as it was offered free! The only catch: we had to pick it up and move it ourselves.  So simple, right? Well, after three agonizing weeks of calling moving companies and dealing with prices to move an item that far exceeded its value, we had reluctantly given up hope. An ultimatum was given by the owner of the piano that it had to be out by the coming weekend or the deal was off.

Enter my dear friends, Jeremy and his wife Kelly, who came to the rescue with just a few hours before the deadline. I had met them through Boy Scouts, and their son and my son were best friends. Jeremey owns a landscaping business and his wife owns a company that puts canvas on boats. To this day, I can’t believe how generous it was of them to both take time away from their jobs in the busiest time of year for them to grab his truck and trailer and head to the local town to move that piano for us.
I remember it was one of those picture perfect early summer days where the sun was shinning and the air was free of humidity and bugs. I was feeling happy but anxious because I had a Boy Scout camping weekend in the Pocono’s that evening and I was rushing around getting gear and supplies ready for my 3 sons who were boy scouts. I was scheduled to drive a van load of other scouts on top of that and needless to say I wanted to get the piano chore over with as soon as possible.

Jeremey and Kelly showed up right on time and made what seemed an impossible task easy, moving the piano into our house with just a few bruised knuckles and some mild trim damage to the door.  It was late morning when we finished and I remember standing outside on the front porch just enjoying the beautiful day and feeling so happy that my wife’s piano dream had finally be realized. I mentally checked the box off in my head where it said “Promises to my wife: replace her piano”. We will have been married 17 years this December and we had to let go of her childhood piano after our nuptials because we moved so much those first few crazy years. I told her I would replace that piano and it had become my deepest desire to see that promise fulfilled. So standing there looking at the smiling faces on that beautiful day I could not have imagined that in just a few hours the world would lose one of its most precious souls.

Jeremey and Kelly were recently married and they had a beautiful baby girl together to add to the wonderful family they already shared.  A teenage son from Jeremey’s previous marriage and two young and vivacious girls from Kelly’s former marriage. The new baby was just so beautiful and went everywhere the couple went. One of the perks of being an entrepreneur is taking your kids to work, so we were always used to seeing the baby carrier and the beaming toothy face right in the middle of every activity. That particular day was no different and I recall commenting on how fast she was growing and how smart she really seemed, laughing and smiling like it was the most fun anyone could ever have strapped in a baby carrier. I asked them what they intended to do with the rest of the day and they both said they had work to get on with. I thanked them and hurried to complete my packing before our trip. I would find out later that after lunch the couple decided to work from home the rest of that day, Jeremey working on some landscaping business and Kelly cutting canvas for her boats.

Hours later, as I stood in the dark around a campfire in the Pocono’s, watching some scouts try and light an old kerosene lantern without success my cell phone rang. It was Jeremey.  I just assumed he was calling to make sure we arrived at camp safely and to check on his son who had ridden along with me and my guys.  “Gerry, she’s gone. She went to heaven this afternoon”.  I said ‘Who’s gone, buddy? What are you talking about?”.  I remember moving away from the circle of light near the campfire and putting my finger in my one ear and pushing the cell phone against the other so hard, thinking that by doing so I would hear a different response when he repeated himself “ She died, she’s gone. We put her down for her nap and she never woke up”. Stunned silence on my end. I was on my knees in the dark, shaking and crying and feeling like the air would never come back to my lungs. “What do I do about my son? What do I tell him? I don’t’ know what to do, man. She’s gone and I can’t make sense out of anything right now”.

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The rest of the details are unimportant, including a hasty meeting with the other scout leaders and the decision by all to wait for his son to be told by his parents what had happened in person. That was the longest drive of my life, my son and his best friend, quietly pensive in the back seat not knowing what was going on. We just told them we needed to get home to deal with an important problem. I am glad it was dark and the boys fell asleep. I cried and talked to God and prayed and cried some more, trying to make sense of the nightmare that was unfolding.

Months have passed now, time moves on. People move on. Yet anyone who has lost a loved one can tell you the pain does not simply go away. The feeling of loss is there like the air around you and there is nowhere you can go to escape it. The loss of someone you care for is terrible, and the loss of a child can only be like suffering magnified to infinity, beyond any human limits. I am the father of four boys and I can’t imagine what it must be like to lose a child. I think anyone who is a parent can identify with this emotion. How many times have we tended to our sick or hurt little ones and wished we could take their place, relieve their pain, make them not hurt? I have no right to claim I understand the depth of hell that Jeremey, Kelly and his family have been through with the loss of Jamisen. I have been blessed to never have suffered the loss of a child, but having walked with my dear friends down that dark road humbles me about having ever thought I suffered at all about anything.

I can only say that my life perspective has been changed, my soul aching for their loss. The helplessness I have felt to console them since it has happened has made me feel like a failure. I have berated myself for ever asking for help with that piano because I keep playing the “what if” game. What if we had not had them help us that day? If I had hired a moving company they would not have altered their routine and Jamisen would perhaps still be here with them. Only God knows the answers and I have left it with him because my heart would break if I had to continue with my doubts about that day.

I wanted to, needed to, share this story of tragedy with you to let you know that out of loss and despair these unique and wonderful people made a decision to create a foundation to help protect others from this ungodly suffering.  Jeremey and Kelly Schutz created a foundation which I have adopted and support through my medical practice and ask that you do the same.  The Jamisen Grace Foundation was started with funds received from family and friends offered in response to the loss of Jamiesen. 

The product the foundation provides is called an Owlet, a device placed on a newborn and infants foot that actives an alarm if breathing or respiratory distress is noted.  The idea is that if a little one is sleeping and there is a problem immediate action can be taken. The product is a life-saver but is expensive. Supporting the foundation in any way will help put these devices in the hands of new parents who need it the most.

A few months ago Jeremy and Kelly helped me with a burden I could not lift by myself and they did it without hesitation. Now it’s my turn to help them carry theirs and ask for your help.

Please find it in your hearts to support the Jamisen Grace Foundation and let’s work together to help one of God’s newest angels watch over and protect the next generation of hope.

For more information on the foundation, go to their website, JamisensGrace.org
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On behalf of your friends at SunWise Family Dermatology and Surgery,
Have a wonderful and safe New Years with your family and friends.
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Gerard "Gerry" Stroup

Hello all! As our thoughts turn to holiday cheer, warm fires and lots of presents the last thing we need to be doing is scratching our dry skin! I wanted to share some quick tips with you if you are someone who tends to “dry out” this time of year.

So, first and foremost, moisturizer is key. The more often the better. A creamy base for the day and a thicker ointment base at night especially after bathing works best to really get your skin happy! I would suggest a cream like CereVe for the day and Aquaphor Ointment at night. If you are super sensitive Vanicream is fantastic for those who tend to rash up with even the most sensitive skin moisturizers. However, please be sure to check with your dermatologist or physician before using these or any products in the unlikely event you are one of the few that can’t tolerate these products.

Keeping a humidifier going in the bedroom is helpful when the heat is turned on. I know it’s tough to keep the temperature in the house low, but an even 68 degrees will prevent skin dryness which can lead to the skin itch.
Dove sensitive skin soap or as a body wash works wonders, great for the guy in your life who hates putting stuff on his skin.  

Avoid heavy fragrance, perfume use and cologne as much as possible. These things really can set your skin on fire when applied to sensitive and eczema prone skin.
No fabric softeners or dryer sheets! Just tumble dry low and it will help with the static you are trying to avoid.

My suggestion is go online and look for deals on the moisturizers, the bigger the tube the better. Often you can cruise right to the manufactures website and find coupons and save a few bucks. Hey, every bit helps this time of year! If you like to shop at the warehouse stores and buy in bulk this is also a great place to get more for less.
These items make great stocking suffers, so don’t forget to “spread the love” when it comes to using a great moisturizer!

Happy Holidays to you and your family from our family here at SunWise Dermatology!
We are here for you anytime, give us a call for your skin evaluation today!
Gerry Stroup
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